| Seed Sower Series | |
Thank you for your interest in the Seed Sower Series and thank you to those that have submitted questions. Unfortunately, due to time and space, we are not able to answer each question. Additionally, some questions have been slightly edited to apply to the most number of parents and teachers. |
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| 1. | In your lecture, you mention the social differences in the marshmallow “grabbers” and the “waiters” at age 18. What can I do if I feel my child is a “grabber”? Is there anything I can do to change the behavior? |
| If your child is impulsive (a “grabber”), there are several things that you can do to assist her/him in developing impulse control. Several of these suggestions are listed on one of the hand-outs from this Seed Sower lecture, Teaching Impulse Control. Basically, you need to help your child learn to STOP and THINK when feeling an impulse. Parents can help their child practice this by asking them to generate multiple solutions when faced with problems or decisions. Parents can also reinforce the benefits of delayed gratification and patience. It sounds easier than it is, of course, but focused efforts do pay off! | |
| 2. | Do you have any suggestions on how to enforce the teaching of social skills in a home school setting? |
| There are many home school associations now that get kids together for socialization. I would certainly recommend getting in touch with one of these. And, if your child is involved in any kind of organized sports or Scouts, be sure to take her/him early or stay late so that s/he can have opportunities to engage in unstructured interaction. |
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| 3. | Can a 3-year-old child gain the social skills that they need if they are not enrolled in preschool? |
| While most preschools offer children wonderful socialization opportunities, a parent can still provide these experiences for their child through playdates. Even at a young age, playdates and peer interaction is important. Playdates are where children problem-solve, negotiate, share and cooperate. If a 3-year old child is not in preschool, getting them involved in a stable group of playmates (as opposed to meeting new kids at the park each week) may offer opportunities to develop relationships and practice the skills that are needed for social competence. | |
| 4. | I have a non-conversational child who has rudimentary language skills. I've been told that teaching language should come before teaching interpersonal/intrapersonal social skills in a group setting. Should I begin a social skills group as well? |
While conversation and language are certainly very important in social interaction, much of what we communicate is nonverbal (i.e. facial expression, gestures, voice tone, etc.) so I would argue that even nonverbal children need opportunities to share experiences with peers. These experiences should be designed to be successful, however - not frustrating for the child or her playmate. Parents can arrange playdates that focus on activities rather than conversations. |
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| 5. | Is there any research to suggest that an only child has a different skill set of social skills than that of his or her peers with siblings? |
| While only children are somewhat at a disadvantage compared to children with siblings (i.e. they don't have peers in the home with whom to practice sharing, negotiating, etc.), there are many other variables involved in social competence. For example, children with better impulse control tend to have better social skills; children with secure attachment styles tend to have better social skills; children with less anxiety tend to have better social skills, children who are optimistic and curious about others tend to have better social skills, etc. In terms of specific "skill sets," all children have different strengths and weaknesses in their social interactions. | |
